Finding God

If God created the heavens and earth, and if God has been around since the beginning of time, then it would stand to reason that he has made enemies, and there are forces out there that hate him and would wish him ill, forces that are rebellious, and would lead you astray in order to thwart him. 

A Genesis

One night I was out at the bar.  I am out at the bar a lot of nights, but this night was different.  It was a couple days before Halloween, and there was supposed to be a costume party.  I dressed in all black: black button up shirt, black slacks, black belt and shinned black dressed shoes.  I could see my reflection in my shoes.  I decided I was going to be Johnny Cash for Halloween, and as I put on my black sports jacket, I was representing the poor and beaten down, and the sick and lonely old.  I was a Highwayman, and I’ll always be around.    

When I arrived at the bar there were a few zombies, but not many people were dressed up.  I didn’t care.  I started drinking a concoction I created that I call a Tennessee Snake Bite: Jack Daniels Honey with lime juice and a little bit of coke.  I had moved to Tennessee a few weeks before.  It was my promised land, and I was enjoying my milk and Tennessee Honey. 

I was sitting up at the bar romancing the bartender when some hippies come sit near me.  Close to Murfreesboro there is a place called Hippie Hill which is a commune and gathering point for drifters and ramblers, kind of like me, but very different.  The hippies were impressed with me.  I sit at the bar alone a lot with complete confidence and an “I don’t give a damn” attitude.  I am a rock.  The only thing I fear is God.  This brings me attention.

One of drifters is a crazy looking white guy with short hair that sticks out naturally like he saw something that scared him, and a shirt that says “Genuine Redneck.”  He just has a crazy look about him.  He is intrigued by me, and tries to figure me out.  I tell him I am ramblin man, but he says he has never seen a ramblin man dressed like that, in all black, and seems worried by me.  Later, we are talking and I tell him that I am a Friend of God.  He says “I know God.  Do you believe me?” He gives me a mischievous look.   I look at him hard in the eyes.  There isn’t any doubt in his eyes or any reason for me to not believe him.  I say “I believe you.”  He says “I know God and he is a silly bitch.”  Shocked, I retort “He does likes to mess with me.” Crazy guy replies “I know God, and Christ is not my savior if you know what I mean…..”

The possessed hippie and I have a conversation and hangout for a while.  He is sort of obnoxious and is excessively forward in his advances to the female bartender who is in love with me.  He walks a fine line and almost gets kicked out.  The bartender tells him he is scaring people.  He turns and looks at me “but you are not afraid of me are you?” He has a smile on his face like he found a long lost friend. I shrug my shoulders, “I am not afraid of you,” I say while still not giving a damn.  He says “I am not gay or anything, but I have a lot of love for you if you know what I mean.”  I reply in a nonchalant way “Yeah you can have love for another man out of your thumos.”  In a sigh of relief he proclaims “You understand.”  He hugs me. 

The possessed Man becomes enraptured by me, and says I have angels following me.  He gives me a serious look and tells me that I still have a lot to learn.  “I know” I reply.  My mom had always pestered me about reading the bible.  I grew up in a Christian family, but had never had the motivation to read the whole Bible.  I would always tell her “It is not time yet.”  At this point, I don’t know that it was me saying that or God putting it in me because if I would have read it before now it wouldn’t have meant much to me.  Now that I know God the Bible comes to life as I read it.  I feel like Socrates when he says that we already know everything, and we just have to recall it through experience.  I have felt that the Bible was always in me, and as I read it as God directs me, I am able to truly see what it happening.  I do still have a lot to learn.    

The fallen angel starts to worship me.  He kisses my hand.  He is in love with me.  We have endured suffering, and he has a hard time finding people to relate with.  There aren’t very many men anymore. More than that, he sees through me.  He knows by my demeanor and attitude that I had to have gone through a lot to be what I am.   “I don’t even want to know what you have been through” he says worriedly.  

Since I joined the US Army in 2008 a lot of my free time has been spent in bars….a lot of my free time.  In one month of living in Murfreesboro, TN, which is about forty minutes outside Nashville, I ran into four fallen angels or possessed like the man I am talking to.  Three were men, one woman.  One was a black man, the rest white.  They come in all kinds, and all four of them were lustful and preoccupied with having sex with me, or a woman who loves me.  I know bars.  I know the night life.  I have never seen anything like this.  Nashville and its surrounding area is a special place.  Nashville is music city, music is food for the soul, and that makes Nashville, in a way, the heart and soul of America.  There are forces that would corrupt it or destroy it. 

He didn’t like the Tennessee Snake Bite I was drinking.  He says real men drink straight whiskey and bets me that I can’t take a shot of Wild Turkey 101 without flinching.  I had been man challenged, so I order and pay for a shot of Wild Turkey for the both of us.  Neither of us flinches.  I enjoy the harsh burn. 

Later I am sitting outside smoking my cigar, and he comes and sits by me.  He seems very worried about me as he watches me smoke my cigar in my black suit and drink whiskey.  I share my cigar with him.  He keeps trying to show me affection, but at the time I don’t really understand why.  He starts talking about gods.  I interrupt, “There is only one God.”  He retorts with a smile, “There are many gods.  Gods bring happiness and Man brings War.  Which are you?” 

The hippies he came with are leaving, and he has to go.  As the possessed Man gets up to leave I reply “I am a Man.”  I give him a hard look.  There is a flash of terror on his face for a moment, and then he smiles.  He says he will be seeing more of me.        

It is said that alcohol makes Man more susceptible to possession, and that is true because evil spirits will test you, and while drunk, a Man is more prone to slip.  Any God fearing Man should be careful, but God has had a problem with his watchmen becoming drunkards, so he made sure that I learned to drink from the 82^nd Airborne Division, the world’s largest community of functional alcoholics where if half the company doesn’t show up for their four mile run on Monday at 0630 smelling like a bar, then they must have been doing some training over the weekend.  I can take some punishment and still function and make things happen. 

Since the world was created there have been forces out there that want to claim God’s Glory.  They want to share in it.  They are envious.  When the possessed man started worshiping me, kissing my hand, showing me an abundance of affection, he was trying to treat me like a god.  He was committing idolatry.  Man is God’s Glory, and the fallen angel wanted to share in it.  God doesn’t share his Glory. (Isaiah 42:8) 

When the possessed Man started to be overly forward to the bartender who loves me, he was trying to share in my Glory.  Woman is Man’s Glory.  It is said that in the times of Enoch, before Noah, there were some angels that decided to have sex with human women.  Their offspring became giants which Goliath who David slew was a descendant of.  God punished these angels by cutting them off from heaven, and they are no longer aloud to sleep with humans, but they can possess them.  There are forces, and agents in the world that humanity doesn’t understand or has forgotten.